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Expat Still Pretending She’s Fasting for Ramadan

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Expat Still Pretending She’s Fasting for Ramadan

British woman trying to convince colleagues that she didn’t give up on first day

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Despite having given up her efforts to fast less than two hours into the first day of Ramadan, Suzie Bramble is still attempting to convince colleagues that she’s going without food or drink during daylight hours.

“I just feel so spiritual inside, like my body and soul are going through a deep cleansing session,” the 35-year-old British expat explained to co-workers in the Dubai offices of MPK Financial Services while on her way to the bathrooms with her pockets stuffed with biscuits.

“It’s definitely an experience I’ve found thoroughly rewarding and would certainly look to do it again next year,” she added, casting her mind to the chicken sandwich, packet of crisps, Mars bar and can of Diet Coke sat in the glove compartment of her Toyota Landcruiser that she plans to consume in the far corner of the car park over lunchtime.

“But I’d be lying if I said it had been an easy ride,” she concluded in an attempt to impress her Lebanese line-manager Hadi Mostafa, who, like Bramble, is pretending to fast and has a Tupperware container of pasta in his drawer that he hopes to eat in the stationery cupboard. “By the time afternoon hits I’m absolutely ravenous and all I can think about is that evening’s iftar buffet!”

8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Yousuf bin Hadd

    July 25, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    It’d far too difficult to eat pasta in a cupboard that wasn’t stationary. Imagine explaining the spillages to all your fasting colleagues.

  2. dazk55

    July 29, 2013 at 10:50 am

    I have a sore throat from coughing each time I eat a Lay crisp.

  3. Dan

    July 29, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    Yousuf, it’s very hard to go fast in a stationary cupboard

  4. Anonymous

    August 1, 2013 at 2:43 am

    Stop pushing my leg! You can’t be fasting if you are eating biscuits, sandiches and crisps. This is making no sense!

  5. subhadar

    August 1, 2013 at 2:45 am

    Stop pushing my leg! You cannot be fasting if you are eating biscuits, sandwiches and crisps! This is making no sense.

  6. Buner

    July 7, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Its awesome when people take up spiritual habits to procure ridicule from unsuspecting mules.

  7. Moe Müntz (@arabianofelix)

    June 24, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    One would say she almost pulled a fast one…

  8. Anonymous

    June 24, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    Thank you, this made me laugh – a lot!

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