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Returning Expat Wows Hometown With Fluent Grasp of About Three Arabic Words

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Returning Expat Wows Hometown With Fluent Grasp of About Three Arabic Words

Doha-based Brit enthralls former school friends with mostly incorrect use of ‘shukran’, ‘halas’ and ‘yalla’

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A British expatriate has reportedly enthralled friends and family in his hometown with an impressive display of language skills picked up since living in the Middle East.

Doha-based property sales executive Timothy Vadger returned to Daventry in the English Midlands on Thursday for a week-long visit, and has since been welcomed as a cosmopolitan superstar for his grasp of Arabic vocabulary.

According to sources, the 26-year-old has been casually dropping words such as “shukran” and “halas” into conversations as if by accident.

Although initially causing some nervousness among the crowds in his local pub, such efforts have resulted in wide-eyed awe from his former schoolmates, many of whom have been conjuring images of Vadger riding across a desert atop a camel and swathed in billowing robes rather than sitting in a traffic jam in a Toyota Corolla and sweating inside a grey Top Man suit.

“Hey Steve, thanks for the pint, Shukran! Oh sorry, just a bit of Arabic slipping out there, can’t help it!” was one of the first examples of his bilingual prowess to cause a gasp among regulars.

Having later mesmerised his growing audience with a detailed analysis of how and where you can drink alcohol in Doha, Vadger is believed to have followed this up with a wholly inaccurate description of the Arab Spring in an attempt to impress a nearby table of girls.

“Basically, the Egyptians were totally Halas’ed with Gaddafi and were, like, yalla, you need to quit, fattoush?”

11 Comments

11 Comments

  1. Elissa

    September 23, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Soo stoopid, hilarious!

  2. Well Wisher

    September 23, 2013 at 5:24 pm

    Fattoush, hell yeah!

  3. Sha Shahin

    September 23, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    Too funny!

  4. tutti bin frutti al booty

    September 24, 2013 at 8:55 am

    Arabic hand gestures are also well received in East End London pubs, and demonstrate a ‘world traveller’ appearance.
    Wearing your ‘normal clothing’ married with a pair of white loafers and no socks is also an excellent nod to a Middle Eastern sojourn

  5. madras in the midlands

    September 24, 2013 at 9:35 am

    He could have spoken Malayalam and no one in the Midlands would have known the difference.

  6. Isac Hunt

    September 24, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Dont forget to wear a vest under your shirt

  7. awartany

    September 25, 2013 at 11:26 am

    HAHAHAHAHA

  8. Anonymous

    September 25, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Another story heard in Egypt. A missionary returned to the US from his work in Egypt and at church the congregation asked him to say a prayer in Arabic. He didn’t know any but he had learned how to count. So he began, wahid, tnayn, tlati and a voice from the back joined in, arb`a…

  9. Anonymous

    September 26, 2013 at 2:00 pm

    Ive been laughing at this article for days now.

  10. Andy

    April 11, 2018 at 10:30 am

    There is a worse word used here…..I think we all know it. When I leave I hope I never hear it again !!!

    • Anonymous

      April 12, 2018 at 4:09 pm

      And we never will, inshallah!

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